Terrorist Attacks on Vooperia! Written by: Allegate
Recently a critical failure of the New Vooperis dam caused mass panic in the district. The original breach of the dam was quickly sealed with several tons of Flex Tape and Flex Seal. The citizens of New Vooperis thought all was well, but only 15 minutes later the dam exploded in a massive blast. Later reports indicate that a small nuclear device was detonated. An estimated 60,000 civilians have been reported dead, with many more still missing.
A few minutes after the first explosion, eyewitness reports confirmed what appeared to be a larger detonation in the heart of Old Yam. Investigations by District Senators and the Vooperian State Security Department indicate that the nuclear weapons were stolen from stockpiles in Old Yam. The blame has been pinned on possible government incompetence or even a traitor in the Old Yam Military Guard. Following these reports, Senator SillyPossibility of Old Yam attempted to shift blame onto the Melon religion. Donia, a former member of the Melon Church, admitted to orchestrating the attack on the dam. This raised suspicions that the Melon Church was planning a coordinated attack on Vooperia, but Melon Pope Allegate was quick to put these suspicions to rest. A campaign to root out violent Jihadists hiding in the Melon Church has been started.
The combined death count of these attacks is yet to be determined, but estimates put it in the hundred thousand range. The detonation in Old Yam has also cost the Vooperian Military a large portion of their nuclear stockpiles, as most of them are stored there. Emperor Spike Viper was quoted wondering why he trusted Old Yam with the nukes. As we cannot get confirmation of this exact quote, we will not attempt to include it.